If you’re going into the desert, you definitely want a trusty companion with you. Nothing that’ll leave you stranded or give you trouble. As Top Gear proved, a Toyota Hilux is indestructible so that would naturally be your choice.

I thought so!

Everyday I love her more, just how it’s supposed to be. I will never relinquish her after what happened today!
After having been buried in snow for over six weeks, in temperatures down to -20 degrees, she started right up after having tugged on the starter for five seconds. Absolutely mindblowingly fantastic!
This has now given me the crazy idea of trying to cross the North American continent with my beloved Katarzyna. Now that would be something!

I want you all to welcome my first ever BMW to my growing park of motorised vehicles. It’s an R75/6 from 1974, runs strong and sounds deliciously. Despite being 36 years old, I intend to take this all over Europe. Scour some proper performace parts on eBay and FlatRacer and I will be good to go. But first I am going to strip it down, get it painted and then put it back together again, a little differently.

My first proper attempt to get my some grease on my elbows as I will try and make it look similar to something the Wrenchmonkees would build. On my own. With my two hands. Well, others have done it before me so how hard can it be? In order to be properly structured, I promise to chronicle the build here on The Cartorialist, which now will start featuring motorcycles!

Wish me luck!

The Syrian desert is filled with rocks and the occasional Roman city like Palmyra. Out there, next to an old Arabic fortress up on a mountain, one does not really expect to see a classic Pontiac. If you know the model, please let me know.

Yes, I am doing social media now. That’ll make up for me only posting here once a fortnight.

Enjoy!

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The emotional bond you form with a car during a long journey can be either of two things; you hate it from the bottom of your heart or you end up loving it, there are no in-betweens. You can never be indifferent towards it. My newfound bond with Katarzyna has left me scouring sites for parts wanting to upgrade her to 21st century standards. I found some amazing sites listing all kinds of upgrades from sport suspension to entire engines that have been rebuilt and tuned by some Italian man with magic fingers.

So, my thought on the event I just finished. I loved it. I really did, however, as an experienced organiser of car related events, I can point to a some of flaws that I believe should have been dealt with in another fashion than what was actually done. For example, there should have been CLEAR rules from the get go of what could and could not be done. Instead every such thing was very vague and no one seemed to know what exactly the going rate was for anything. There was an immense amount of reckless driving, almost to the point of danger and luckily no one got hurt. There was one minor fender bender but that was not related to any of this, just bad brakes and a lack of ABS. This seemed like a free for all with the organiser washing his hands by just being far enough away.

If one is to organise a road race, which this clearly was, one needs to make certain what kind of category one wants to adhere to. There are namely two: the gentlemen’s race and the mad man’s race. For next time I would like to see clear rules so that one can make a distinction between the two. To check possible mischief, offenders need to know they will be punished by threat of disqualification for body contact, risky overtaking, not observing traffic rules etc. I am not talking about speeding here but rather crazy manoeuvring. Everyone properly interested in cars know that speed limits are stupid and not relevant to modern cars. In a race one speeds, naturally, however for it to be called a gentleman’s race, one can never have crossing the finish line as number one as the only rule as some are always willing to risk it all in order to secure that place. No, one has to get creative, or have strict rules of what one is allowed to do to obtain that first place.

I think Peter Ternström did one hell of a job scouring through Poland to find the proper cars, getting the right mechanics to work with only two hours of sleep per night, having the proper back up in terms of spare parts and cars and getting the project off the ground in the first place. Where he can improve is by just setting some basic ground rules for the event. I don’t want to participate in an event where I am scared of what the others might do. The 126 is a frightfully small car and extremely fragile, especially at the speeds we were travelling. I do however want it to still be a race of sorts because it is possible as the car won’t do more than 125km/h. It is the perfect car for a road race. Even on a race track you have rules. The same should apply here. It’s just common sense. To sum it up, thank you Peter. I had a great time, now make it even better for next time.

After 45 kms of driving at 90 km/h in a convoy into central Stockholm we’re finally at our destination and 3 kms from my bed. Write-up coming tomorrow. TC over and out!

18:15 – Crossed the finishline in 13th or something place. We weren’t last and Katarzyna took us all the way. Now we’ll be doing a défilé with all the cars into the centre of Stockholm, convoy-style.

17:37 – Engine is running strong but we’re maintaining 100km/h because of the rattling from the exhaust. We’ve passed two Fiat wrecks in the last 30 minutes but didn’t stop to help. This is no gentlemen’s rally.

15:30 – We were in the top five when we stopped for petrol 10 kms outside Jönköping, 355 kms from Stockholm. Naturally we check the engine to make sure it’s doing fine. That’s when I notice the brackets for the muffler has cracked and come undone.

Again, steel wire came to the rescue. We’re now doing a measily 100 km/h in order to bring Katarzyna to Stockholm without further ado. Damnit again!

A pranking Auto Motor & Sport editor had the whole start field worried. It was a smoke bomb.

A running Le Mans start with 21 starting cars out of a total of 29. Pretty good.

There was a police raid on our convoy but as we were in the top five they just missed us. I know just what brought it on and I have picture proof of one car in particular doing really stupid overtakings and putting people at risk. Someone called the cops on us basically because of reckless driving.

Katarzyna is faster than everyone, we added som extra help by reducing drag from the mirrors. Indicated on the meter i 120 km/h and I still had some left to give on the accelerator.

Stuck on the motorway (E4) outside Örkelljunga now. There’s been a crash up front and we’re all hoping none of the GT Classico teams are involved, or that anyone is hurt for that matter but seeing the number of ambulances going by is worrying.

Making sure to take advantage of the situation, adding another 60 kms until next fuel stop.

The accident didn’t involve any Fiats but a poor man being hit by a lorry while changing his tyre.

After 2 hours of sleep, the mechanics were back on track with everyone wanting a piece of them for the final stretch to Stockholm. We managed to get them to replace our oil cap with a shining new one. They also replaced the 100 ml of oil that was used to coat the inside of our engine bay.
The mechanics have been pleading with us all to stick to 90 km/h but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I guess they’re tired of picking up our mess and I suspect that they won’t be coming along next year. They’ve done a helluva job so far though and few teams have made it this far without any of their help.

The receptionist didn’t quite like our parking and threatened to call some security company to come fine us all. Please do make the call we said, we all have Polish registration plates so this should be a hoot.

Tension is building and several teams are already out by the cars, checking and double checking so that everything is fine. There’s still another 70 minutes ’til start (at 12:00) and I too am getting jumpy. Sitting in the hotel room waiting for the time to pass is more than I can stand. I’m heading back out to mix with the crowds.

It feels good to be in bed but I must say Katarzyna behaves way over expectations. I imagined doing 80-90 km/h tops and writhing in pain from back ache due to piss poor seats. Nope, the car easily does 120 km/h and the seats are really comfy.

The mechanics had 5 spare engines and one spare car to start with, they have now used them all. Now it’s a matter of ingenuity and makeshift solutions. Knowing we’d be going to Poland, driving a Polish car 1400 kms in a rally across Europe we brought with us the necessary tools to handle it: a flashlight, duct tape, screwdrivers (one flat one Phillips), pliers, polygrip and steel wire. Today we used it all. Perfect.

I may have jinxed us yesterday when saying Katarzyna was in tip top shape. Well she was, and is, except for that litte mishap with the engine oil cap.  Our makeshift one did its job and we made it to Malmö just 10-15 minutes after most teams, but not last, despite us doing a mere 90km/h with two stops to check everything was OK with the engine. That means tomorrow when the mechanics wake up, we’re going to pester them for a new cap and some fresh winter tyres. Then we’ll show those other teams whose car can handle it. We know we’ve got the straight line speed as we have left everyone behind us once we’ve tried. After my quietest Saturday in months, it’s time for some shuteye before the real challenge starts.

We have definitely underestimated som teams desire to take home the trophy. When someone can do 291 kms in 3 hours in a Fiat 126p, with a petrol stop in between, then clearly there is only one mode good enough and that is the pedal through the metal. Optimising the Maluch to reach speeds of 130 km/h is possible, the question is whether the engine can take it. We now have proof that it can, on shorter stints.

Tomorrow Sunday is the last leg to Stockholm. This journey will be 50 percent longer than the other two legs and it’s 604 kms flat out on motorways. No breaks but petrols stops, no ferry to take the heat off the engine and no construction work to get the speed down. The winner will be the one that reaches the final destination in Stockholm before anyone else despite accumulated points on earlier legs. Like I have stated before, it’ll come down to whose engine is the most solid.

Took the short road to Rostock instead of going via Puttgarden. While waiting for the ferry I decided to check the oil level and I notice that our oil cap is missing. Luckily we still have plenty of oil in the engine but had to construct a makeshift cap of an old beer can. This has happened to me once before on a Mercedes CLS 63 AMG but that time it was near catastrophic!

We can now kiss another point session goodbye as we’ll have to stop every 30 minutes to check the engine. Damn it!

For better cooling so the tape won’t melt!

Click here to see video!

Five spare engines is soon down to four!

The start has been pushed back a couple of hours due to car maintenance. Some of the top ten cars are out there which bodes well for us. This car has to run 1400 kms problem free or else any chance of winning goes bye bye.

It seems there’s come controversy around the top ten list. The organisor’s Land Rover got stuck in Autobahn mode so he couldn’t be at the hotel in time to certify the running order. Instead the participants themselves had to keep track and that never leads to anything good. Especially in a group this competitive.

I don’t want to jinx anything but Katarzyna is really in tip top shape. She started up immediately and without hesitation this morning, a quick oil check later revelad that she’s in perfect condition. She will see us through and considering our responsible driving I am sure we can bring her in top five. Like I have said before, winning is pretty much out of the question because we don’t have what it takes, or lack what it takes I should say (braincells).

We’re finally at the hotel, which is only half a step up from a Formule 1 mind you, and exhausted. The rain started some 20 kms outside Berlin and kept on pouring. Slowly we have learned to trust Katarzyna and she’s treating us well so far. Our initial fears  were unfounded and we will be stepping on it hard tomorrow. Others have had problems with batteries, fuel pumps and cam shafts. We can’t even hear a sputtering sound at full throttle which some others seem to. All in all, Katarzyna is perfect, apart from some cosmetic blemishes but that just makes us like her even more.

It’s well cramped.

Here’s a link to a video from the track Tor Poznan, filmed from Katarzyna featuring the entire field of contestants. Click here.

Some fellow Norwegians from Team Race Universe didn’t have windscreen wipers so they did 110km/h in pouring rain on pure faith! Them’s got mucho cojones!

We have basically given up on winning. We got to Stadt Wittstock in 12th place after having run around the town looking for the bloody thing for about 10 full minutes. We could’ve been in the top 5 had we just followed our gut, damnit! Back to the winning thing. It will come down to who sacrifices the most and some seem to think that overtaking lorries on the right and tailgating is fine in order to win, we don’t. We’ll be observing caution but will also make sure to keep the pedal welded to the metal as Katarzyna obiously can handle it. I am guessing that the car with the most structural integrity will be the final winner, not the most daring driver.

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We have reached Germany and are battling with two other cars. Unfortunately due to early caution we are way down in the field of cars with no others in sight. We keep hoping to see smoking Fiat 126s along the way but have only seen one so far. But we know that, at least, two other cars have dropped down due to lack of proper speed.

One of our fellow rallyers just had a pee in a bottle while moving. Almost got it on camera, you can see him turning away and the driver with a big grin on his face. Just overtook two lorries and two other “Maluchs” on the inside in a roundabout!

After a Le Mans-style start at Tor Poznan, we are now finally on our way. The field has already started to scatter as some seem to think the pay route will be faster. Our car is model year 2000 and has 165 000 kms on the meter! It should last another 1400!

The initial driving has this far been one of recklessness from some of the teams with complete disregard for red lights and overtaking on the right!

Our strategy this far is to conserve the engine and not go flat out. We have reached 120 km/h but stick about 100 km/h. If the car seems fine in Berlin, then we might up the tempo.