MODS vs. ROCKERS (Stockholm 2010) from Hans Sandström on Vimeo.

Yeah baby!

Ringo once got the question if he was a rocker or a mod, he said: “I’m a mocker!” Kinda like me.

A Swedish entrepreneurial team calling themselves Bike By Me is responsible for this. Actually, they provide a template for designing your own bicycle, thus the name. I absolutley love it! The pastel colours are just what a bike needs to brighten up the dull traffic situation. It’ll be just as nice on the road as on the wall!
Do not get this design if you live anywhere near Stockholm, this is mine.

Bike By Me

It’s done! Ready, driveable and beautiful. I am so happy. Sure, there are things left to do but they can wait until the winter. Now it’s ridin’ time!

Sometimes love fades, and as with any break-up, I still have feelings for her. However, time has come to say goodbye to my beloved Polackette, Katarzyna. She has served me well and catered to my every need however impossible the outlook may have been. The reason for the dumping is the clutch; it needs changing and I simply can’t be bothered. If you want to take over this, otherwise perfectly running, little machine, you’re more than welcome to come with an offer. Please note that this is pick up only as she’s temporarily stationary.

Here you can find the entire story of the Katarzyna adventure: http://www.thecartorialist.com/?m=200911

Facts:
Engine: 650 cc, 2 cylinder
Power: 23 bhp (new, probably 20 left)
She has a brand new exhaust system and oil cap. She was completely serviced some 3000 kms ago with new battery and all the brakes checked out. No oil leaks what so ever.
The odometer is a little shy of 170,000 kms, but let me tell you, never once has she acted up. Read this and you’ll understand: http://www.thecartorialist.com/?p=5248

Send me an email if you’re interested: jens @ thecartorialist.com (remove the spaces around the @)

Yeah! Even better than I had hoped for. Actually, it was such a long time ago that I comsissioned this that I had, kind of, forgotten what it was going to look like. Back to the dungeon to try and make it all presentable for a picture then.

Progress is God damn slow and I am starting to panic, but slow and steady wins the game. Hopefully. Next week I’ll have a lot to show you so hang tight ’til then.

Overcoming an obstacle is so much easier when equipped with the proper tools. Katarzyna shines on a daily basis and keeps bringing us those surprises. On Saturday, she charmed the set of a fashion shoot with her antics of bravery and tomfoolery. Naturally we stuffed the model, stylist and makeup artist in there clutching their bags and hauled ass down the mountain.

For good measure, I’ve included a clip of what happened at the road block!

It is with great sadness, and a little bit of shame, that I admit that the tease pic of the Porsche is nothing more than a bodykitted stock Carrera. Sure, it has a sports exhaust, short shift and an alcantara clad steering wheel and gearlever, but that’s about it. With looks like that, I half expected the car to rip my spine in two during cornering, have my eyes pop out of their sockets during braking and squeeze all the air out of my lungs during acceleration. Nope, not even the sound was that impressive.

I love the sound Porsches make, all of them. I love Porsche almost unconditionally (except the ugly models like the Cayenne and Panamera), but this Carrera left me disappointed. I would’ve been happier with a plain, stock 997, but with graphics like that, I automatically expected more, lots more.

There is one vital thing one needs to remember when driving a Porsche fast through the corners. My brother illustrated this with excellence when he simulated the sound of a shotgun loading each time i approached a bend with the ESP in sport mode. If the ESP caught the car violently, he immediately made the explosive sound of a shotgun firing. That’s what a Carrera does; it shoots you in the face if you don’t handle it properly. Even a fake Cup racer.

Here’s a teaser. More to come next week.

I had the opportunity to try out a Tesla Roadster Sport yesterday. I’ve heard lots of great things about this car and was looking forward to an enjoyable test drive. However, an electric car needs juice to run and it’s not like you can just stop by a filling station and be fully loaded five minutes later. This is not news, but it’s something that bugs the hell out of me.

For some unbelievable reason, an idiot with the large energy company Fortum, had asked to borrow the car and infringe upon the total of two testing days that we were initially promised. Instead of delivering it first thing in the morning, the little idiot decided to act busy and have some “business meetings” so the Tesla didn’t reach us until barely noon. Fine, we thought, we’d still have a few hours before returning it. Nope, turns out the schmuck had not charged it, so any possible driving time that was left was spent “filling up” so we could make it out to the airport to return it to the Tesla representative.

And therein lies one of the problems with electric vehicles. No matter how great the product may be, you’re still hampered by the time it takes to reload. Unless you can switch out the entire battery pack, you’d better have a sexy woman around to help you with your frustazione.

To add insult to injury, Fortum has been broadcasting commercials about there being charging poles all around the city for the cars of the future. Well, it’d be pretty damn good if you didn’t have to visit with Fortum in advance to get a key to be able to use them. Such stupidity!

So, about the Tesla then. Well, I’ll have to get back to you on that one as I had to drive in energy saving mode the whole time. However, I can say this: it’s a pretty great little car, albeit eerily quiet. The ride is smooth and sporty and the seamless power delivery takes a while getting used to. Torque delivery is quite awesome and makes for super quick acceleration times, provided you have enough electrons running free.
Did Logitech provide the steering wheel? It kinda feels like it came off the Logitech G27 racing wheel. The thing costs twice that of a Nissan GT-R but they both share the interior of a videogame, the Tesla a little less gimmicky than the GT-R.

I admire Tesla for trying to do great things but they’ll never win me over. I need an engine, a beating heart of some sort. This thing’s as lifeless as your average radio. Perhaps I shouldn’t drive it again, I might change my mind.

Do you live in Stockholm? Do you have a kick-ass bike you want to have featured in a fashion story? Is your bike a chopper/bobber? Does it resemble any of the following bikes whose pictures I have stolen around the Interwebs?

Then please contact me. jens @ thecartorialist . com (remove the spaces)

The shoot is Saturday June 5.

The pictures are “borrowed” from SouthSiders Motorcycle Culture and Wrenchmonkees.

Far too few cars nowadays are built with the classic bonnet bulge. BMW did the right thing following tradition with the new M3, Dodge likewise with the new Challenger.

However, Aston Martin is the king of the bulge when it comes to the classic V8 Vantage.

Behold the cover of the first issue of The Motorist, the client magazine of reknowned auto dealer Callisma. It’s all me! Except for the layout part, production of the magazine is all me. So proud.

The feel is heavy and it smells expensive. This is worth having framed just for the cover art.

In it you’ll find an interview with creative genious Christian von Koenigsegg, a first drive of the Aston Martin Rapide, the Bentley Mulsanne and Koenigsegg Agera, plus some other goodies.
Distributed to Callisma’s clients and selected people around Sweden, The Motorist , can not be found in stores. Want to get your hands on a copy? Let me know in the comments and I’ll see if I can work some magic.

EDIT: The Motorist comes in Swedish only. Still want one?

EDIT #2: Thank you for your enthusiasm. As I’m out of copies, you whom have already expressed interest will get a copy. For the rest of you, stay tuned for #2. It’ll feature my trip to Le Mans and the Bentley Brooklands in Paris and all the Koenigseggs since the beginning.

I have told you tales about being able to park almost anywhere due to its tiny size. Well, I am currently undertaking a project to hammer that point home thoroughly. Starting with this, I will post pictures of the Polackette squeezed inbetween the most unimaginable things. Or, perhaps just where you can’t park your car.

Sorry for the grainy picture. Hand held iPhone at night doesn’t render the sharpest of images.

What’s great about having a tiny car is that there are always parking spaces. Slots too small for regular vehicles. Like George Costanza going through garbage for a half-eaten éclair, I get the vehicular leftovers all to my self. Sure, a Smart could fit here, but can a Smart fit four people?

With an amazing amount of luck, I came across this old, fully original, Suzuki TC 120 from 1970. No rust anywhere and glistening chrome even on the wheels! Everything’s intact, even the original owner’s manual with all the receipts from every single service in its 40 year old history, this is going to be a perfect city runabout. I get an extra cylinder with piston, almost unused. It’s also got the original parts manual with all the codes and exploded views on every single item on the bike. I just struck gold and I am in love. I have been looking for something like this for quite a while, so I am a very happy man.

I have decided to get rid of this beaut. I can’t handle two at a time, no matter how much I wish I could. It’s better to have one in perfect shape than two half arsed. Focus BMW R75/6 now. I am so close to getting it just how I want it. I have given free reign to an artist friend of mine to do what he wants with the tank. It is going to be awesome – I hope!

Wanna buy it? Let me know? €1300 and it’s yours.

The effin’ seatpan has been bugging me for weeks but I am finally done. Good thing I am learning. Now I know exactly what not to do next time. You’re up SR400!

It’s off to the seat-maker to get that beautiful custom Bratstyle look. Contrasting piping? I think so.

Some asshole came onto my Polish mistress a little too hard! It’s not like she’s got any weight on her to withstand such manhandling. I’ve got his phone number though, so it can’t possibly have been some American SUV driving mother lover. Let’s see if he can make it up to her without laying his filthy paws on her again.